It just gets worse and worse.

Formatting the project and getting everything in proper order was a chore, but completed. I had so little confidence in the other essay but at least that was settled today. It came with a price though.

You can say I lived through the day in a sub-concious mode. The stupid chinese formatting in microsoft word had me trying hard to keep my emotions in check.

Then the last straw came when i was given an unnecessary and baseless screaming at. Atop all other accumulated factors, I couldn't take it no longer. I hid in the toilet and cried. For the first time in my nie history, and it's only year one, i cried in the toilet.

What the hell. What the hell.

Now I feel jaded. Thanks qing for seeing me through these trying times. : )) You truly understand how i feel and think.

I don't care what you do nor say. Just get this last assignment done and the semester would be over. I want to just complete everything and start revision for the exams.

As much as I would like to say I lead a very happy life, I currently DO NOT.

tired. pissed. (they come together)

Thursday morning. Two friggin days to the make it or just go die test. Yuearghs. And I've kinda only briefly looked through it. It seems easy but i think on that day itself i will want to rip my hair out in exasperation that i can't make up my bloody mind on the right answer. You know those times when you think something's write but another option pops up and you're thrown back to square one of trying to figure it out again? it ALWAYS happens to me. :((

And by tonight I'll start to really freak out. In the midst of trying to start revising whilst finishing off assignments yet add some tv time in so far it hasn't worked out very well. I must try phase out the tv time part from today. But it's so tough when the rest of your family members are snug on the sofa in front of the tv and i psycho myself into thinking that it is family time.

List of stuffs left to do:
- compiling of cem report
- group essay on aceh
- make math notes
- make jap notes
- east coast park report
- Ced journal x2

I think that should be about all. *screams* Didn't help that my sis was telling me she had a much better time in Perth where they never had to work their asses off. Now i can't wait to go to Melbourne and experience a hopefully stress-free semester for once. Haha before plunging back to slog-my-arse-off mode. Poo.

Gotta prepare for human geog tutorial now. Bless all who are working their asses off too!

I am getting very complacent. having completed my individual essay yesterday afternoon and finalising the reference page at night, I haven't looked at it ever since to do any further editing. I mean it's not really very often that I complete my assignments before time, haha.. sheesh. And i've got quite a bit of work left to do but the day was spent going to church, then changi airport, then the adidas sale at expo, before coming home to watch ladder 49.

I bought a pair of adidas shoes!! for sixty bucks. :))) I'm officially broke. I bought my sis her birthday/christmas present too. Very, very broke.

Now that Michael has gone home and sis is rather sick, it's time to start diet number 31231. Muahha.. told you my diets always last at most 2 weeks.

Shall help sis load pics onto her blog later. *smirk-smirk* It's not very often either that i know something com-linked and she doesn't. haha...

I'm going mad aren't i. Shall check my essay one more time then perhaps start on the group essay thing. Make it or break it test coming this saturday. More of these tests and my heart will fail. Why must they be such asses.

Disney princesses on ice!!!!!!

I really enjoyed myself man.. except for the part where i nearly lost my memory card due to mel's over-excitedness... but all in all it was magical. : )))

heigh ho!!!! 

belle!!! and her beast.  

me and mel's cup 

mel and her cinderella cup 

the grand finale!! 

intermission madness 

I was worried sick for my dear cher last night. In fact I was horrified. When yans told me the news i was almost frantic. See how much you mean to me my dear? get well soon you hear me!!!! Hope she didn't go to uni today, but judging from her character i think she most probably did. That stubborn girl.

I was awakened by a call from the SAS this morning. haha the girl left me really confused man. She said, HEY!! your application has been approved!! please head down to the IRO within these 2 days! And i was like OMG-HOW-WHERE-WHEN-WHAT??? then she told me they had sent me an email. So i came and checked and it said:

Congratulations, you have been selected by NTU to participate in an exchange programme at the University of Melbourne for Semester 1,AY2005/06.Please come and collect the Melbourne's application materials withinthese two days.

Which is... -_-"

So it was approved by NTU (which i knew long ago), and not the uni of melbourne yet.

I don't know man.. I've been sitting on the fence for quite sometime. I still have that burning flame which says GO!! inside me but yet there are several factors holding me back. ARGH. Should shove it aside once again and concentrate on the important stuffs like completing this semester first i guess..

Work just gets one down. But yet upon completion of the assignment the sigh of relief and satisfaction makes my efforts worthwhile. Upon msn discussion with qing last night, we came to a conclusion that competition only brings one down. I guess we were all so caught up in being competitive we had entirely lost ourselves and the direction in which we wre supposedly heading towards. Just strive for what you can and as long as you've done it to your best ability, then no regrets!!!!

What took me so long to come to this level of self realisation. Off to do my essay then!! GO ME!

yuck. I cannot bear to read further. It irks me by quite a significant bit.

nvm. just refrain from that page from now on. Haha blame it on my kpo-ness. Anyway! I just got back from JB! went there for the "sai dou yu" that tasted fabulous as usual. Then went over to Giant for grocery grabbing again. hahaha i think it's psychological. Since everything in Malaysia is presumed cheaper, i didn't even really bother checking out the prices.

I've been very slack once again. It is a cycle ain't it. I can go mad and chiong all the way for a few days, then i burn out and fall into this i need 16 hours of sleep per day trance for the next few days. All I can think about now is disney princesses on ice. WAhahahaha... i'm very excited to be going with mel! We'll probably be squealing away like crazy mnuts. Raihan has been telling me that it was magical. i cannot wait!!!

-mutters- my lappie has gone on low batt mode. Better go get the charger then.

Feeling very much less stressed today. With the slopes report behind me and a clear direction for my essays I feel very much at ease. Or perhaps i choose to think rather optimistically!

Had comrade over at my place just now and I dolled her up for her date tonight. Wahaha.. she looks so pretty!! Could have made her look even prettier but she refused to let me smear more stuff on her face. But it was really fun having her over. : ) I went and bought the incredibles vcd just now with mum.. shall watch it later!

lalalala sis and her bf will be back later tonight... think they bought LOADS of stuff from Bangkok. Upon hearing that my sis had a perm plus haircut plus manicure for a mere FIFTY bucks, I regretted totally about not having booked an air ticket there for this weekend so that mum and i could have joined them there for three days. Darn.

I find that when I'm really pushed to the limits I tend to appreciate the littlest things in Life. Given too much time and money I'd always take things for granted.

Cest la Vie!

It's 9.25 and I'm at the library cafe waiting for John to arrive. He's late! haha I thought he wouldn't be late thus i took a lift from dad and arrived early. Well that's not very often for one who's always late. haha i see cher rolling her eyes already.

But oh well it's alright.. I have some time to do a little more of my own work now. Last night was bizzare. I tried hard to complete my slopes assignment but failed to do so. I got burnt out by 330. This week is going to be regimented. It has already been anyway. Everyday I have to plan out my time so that time can be maximised and I can finally get to do work proper. Everyone's feeling irritable and feeling the burn of it all I suppose. I have to admit I've been rather snappy at times. So here's a sorry to all that I've snapped at.

Special apology to Felix. Sorry for having stood you up. Still feeling rather guilty.

The library is really quiet especially on a wednesday at 9am. I like!!! With the radio put on, I'm having a good time. Despite some sleep deficit, today's gonna be a good day.

Happy Birthday to my MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope her mini operation goes well. *prays*

The human race could have gone extinct a few days ago due to some sudden explosion of a star which released a flash of light that emitted more energy than the sun in more than 150000 years.

How vulnerable we are in the face of nature!

I sigh. Would I call this a dilemma or something which I would like to lap onto my already heavily burdened chest, mind and soul.

One burden lifted off this morning when the presentation was over. One more added on and many more still stuck there. Poo.